yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
