My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
