so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Boobs are out for the taking
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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