Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
