I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
