omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
