i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no, he came in my armpit
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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