Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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