don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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