WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
