I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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