Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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