So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
