I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
