his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The adults are the big ones right?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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