I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
