I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
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