the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
