eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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