this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
