Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize