And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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