areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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