No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
