ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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