eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sorry about my life...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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