bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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