I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize