i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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