you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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