Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
