I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
