i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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