Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize