you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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