Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
