But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
