Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
