he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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