I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize