is your mom at the bar?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We just shotgunned beers for America
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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