So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
