Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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