it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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