How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
