dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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