did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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