Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
