Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
