I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
