i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
