She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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