Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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