I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
As shirtless as possible
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
