He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
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