and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
