a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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