This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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