Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
