You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my shit smells like andre
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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