let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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