4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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