Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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